When You Realize You've Grown Up To Be Your Favorite Disney Princess

In honor of the Aladdin Diamond Edition being released on Blu-Ray today, I went all out. I wore my Aladdin sweatshirt, I've posted the Aladdin cast reunion photos and articles all day on social media, and I've tracked the package on the hour (because of course I got free release date shipping... Thank you Amazon Student!). It's clear to everyone: my obsession with this movie is a little scary. But how could it not be?

My parents met in high school, went their separate ways in college, and then married. Other people, I might add. After two failed marriages, they were reunited in their hometown. They burned gas traveling to see each other and met for a date in Tulsa twenty-two years ago. This date entailed lunch, and a brief discussion about what would happen "if" they got married. By the time the discussion was over, they weren't quite ready to part, so they asked, "What movies are on at the theater?" and answered, "Well despite that it's a Disney movie... I hear that Aladdin is pretty good!"

They laughed the whole time. My mom's headstrong beliefs and fiery attitude made her adore Jasmine, a princess who was completely willing to shoot down those who tried to dictate her life, and my dad's love of comedy made the Genie undeniable. (Dad always said he missed his calling to be a comedian but I'm glad he's a music teacher. That way we still had food on the table every night!) So Aladdin was a hit for my parents before I was even a thought. Ha! "What if they got married?" 

In my mother's words, "It really has been a whole new world ever since." When I was born, Aladdin was the in vault already, but they borrowed a copy from my aunt and that was the beginning of the end. I watched it all the time. I loved it! I went trick-or-treating as Jasmine for several Halloweens. Every game that was played with my friends in the backyard: I was Jasmine. No one else got to be her, and everyone knew it. But tragedy struck one night while I was watching my beloved Disney classic: the VHS tape broke! It had been over-watched, over-rewinded, and over-used. How do you explain a technology failure to a little girl with a preconceived crush on Aladdin? Well... You don't. You pull out your street rat skills and improvise, so that's what my parents did.

I went a few weeks without my favorite tale, but I had Aladdin books, costumes, etc. to preoccupy my time. In those weeks, my parents watched ABC Family like a hawk, and had our new fancy VCR player (the one that could record things off the TV!) ready to go. The night the movie premiered on ABC, not only did my family sit down and watch it together again, but we recorded it on every TV in the house. The moment it came out of the vault again, we bought up more copies. We were not reliving that deprived stage again, the one where little Bethany would ask every day, "Can we watch Aladdin?" to which the reply was always inevitably, "No... Remember Bethany? It broke."

Oh yeah... 

As a result of this little scare, I am now twenty and own three Aladdin VHS tapes (excluding the broken one), the Special Edition when it came out on DVD, and now the Blu-Ray Diamond Edition the moment it was released. Again, a special shoutout to Amazon Student for offering free release-date shipping! Clearly, they know how to make their Disney girls happy.

So you're probably thinking, "Okay, it was something her parents did before she was born, and it was a staple of her childhood. What's the big deal?" Well the truth is, it was always so much more than that. I loved Aladdin because he was the type of man I wanted for myself: smart, clever, passionate, a little goofy, and come on, he's pretty attractive. The Genie was a favorite because he reminded me of my own childhood, when my dad would impersonate everyone including characters from movies, famous musicians, and even other friends and coworkers in our lives. (If you haven't heard his Elvis impression, I really do recommend it. He's got a pretty mean Eddie Murphy, too.)

But Jasmine? That smart, strong, independent, strikingly beautiful princess was exactly who I wanted to be, though I didn't know I wanted to be her when I was three. I just knew she was pretty cool, far more fun and outgoing than other Disney princesses.

When I first saw the musical on Broadway, I understood. In my beloved city of New York, I realized that I not only liked Princess Jasmine, I related to her. I was her. She was a sheltered princess who had lived in one place all her life, and dreamed of a life of adventure. Like me. She was tired of routine. Like me. She desired deep friendships, complex relationships, and new experiences to give her life meaning. Like me. (Catching a trend?) Being a princess wasn't good enough for her. She wanted every day to fulfill a new purpose. She wanted to learn the way others lived and decide the life she wanted for herself, rather than live a life that someone else told her to live. And isn't that what every twenty-year-old young woman ultimately wants?

She was smart. She was beautiful, too, but she already knew that. She wanted to be recognized for more than her looks and treasures, and when she met Aladdin, he saw her for everything she wanted to be seen for. He did not know she was a princess and was instead captivated by her quick adaptability despite her naivety. He shared his dreams with her because she was interested in listening, not because she could make them come true (even though she could).

Jasmine was a firecracker. Raised by my mother, I learned quickly not to rely on a man. They were nice to have around, but you never knew what might happen. You did not need them to survive, and boy, Jasmine didn't either. She despised men who thought they were too cool and had no problem calling them out on it. Even Aladdin, when she openly called him a "stuffed shirt, swaggering peacock." That's an awesome scene. But we can't forget my favorite line of all:

"How dare you! All of you! Standing around deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!" 

Don't pretend like you didn't read that in her voice.

Women often feel like that. I often feel like that. My future is mine to write, but everyone else loves to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. The truth is, they don't know. No one knows what you should do better than you. No one has your personal intuition. So many adults follow the wishes of their parents, significant others, or friends, whether it be because they do not know what they want for themselves or they are too weak to fight for it. But Jasmine doesn't follow anyone's rules. She writes her own.

So all this makes me sound like a total Disney dreamer, doesn't it? Probably. And I have no shame. But if there's one argument for Disney's Aladdin you should actually pay attention to, let it be this one:

Jasmine is awfully independent for being raised in a society where she is expected to mind the rules and obey the laws. She is not like your typical princess in a typical fairytale; she does not wait in her tower for her prince to come save her. She wanted to sneak out of the palace and experience the outside world, so she just did it. She didn't whine about it or sulk any longer; she took action. She achieved her dreams on her own, and happened to meet Aladdin along the way. But Aladdin's dreams of becoming rich and living a life of luxury could not be achieved without her.

So I'd like to dedicate this little number to those who believe that Disney only teaches young girls that women should be passive, submissive women who wait on a prince to come save them. Jasmine didn't need Aladdin to make her dreams possible. He needed her to make his dreams possible. And that's what every girl wants more than anything: to be the motivation, the fire, the spark, and the passion in their man's life. Perhaps that's what I like most about Jasmine. She didn't need, she was needed. 

I admire movies like Beauty and the Beast for attempting to show that beauty is found within. But Jasmine not only shows that beauty is found within when she falls in love with her diamond in the rough, Aladdin, but she shows little girls that intelligence and fiery passion is what makes a woman astoundingly beautiful. It's good to be smart. It's good to be independent. It's a good thing to know what you want in life, and to work hard until you get it. It's good to protect your heart, but it's also good to let your guard down enough to love. And in that respect, Jasmine does everything right.

Regarding her dreams, I relate to her. Regarding her personality, I am her. And regarding her happy ending, I strive to become her. No, I'm not so naive to think that a girl can find one man instantly and live happily ever after, never experiencing another trial or obstacle for as long as they live. But I hope that the dreams I have for myself will come true, and I pray that I have the determination and work ethic to achieve them. I don't just love the movie Aladdin because I'm a Disney freak, I love it because every Disney girl wakes up one day to realize they've grown up to be their favorite Disney princess. For me, I guess that day was today. And to celebrate? Here's what the rest of my night looks like!

I'm sure no one's really surprised.

The Generation Gap: Those Who Won't Work and Those Who Won't Quit

Do you recognize this man?

You probably do if you live in Fayetteville, Arkansas and often shop at the Wal-Mart on Joyce Street. This overly friendly, kid-loving, jokester is my Granddad, and he's turning 87 in two months. Born in 1929, Mr. Hubert "John" Day had the furthest thing from an easy life. A terrible home life and low job security pushed him to lie about his age and join the army. He fought in two wars, and yet, recalls it as being "the time of his life" because, and I quote, "I didn't have to worry about meals or clothes or what to do next. You were given an order, you did it, and everything else was provided for you."

He's worked ever since, and never very long at the same place. If he was laid off, he got a second job. If the business was closing, he was looking for his next job before he was even out of one. He didn't always have a "career" like you hear about today (though he did get a degree and work as an accountant for a period of time), but he was always either at his job or looking for one.

You don't hear of many people like this today.

Well, friends, after 10 years of pushing him to retire, my mother and I finally broke him last January. He retired from Wal-Mart and found all sorts of new projects. But now that it's October, all the yard work he could possibly do is done, all the books he wanted to read are read, and all his projects are completed. He liked the idea of taking history and political classes just for fun (now that they are free since he's over 65), but he didn't like the idea of going down to campus to take them (and he can't take them online because he doesn't believe in the internet). He walked every day at the mall and met friends for lunch and coffee, but that's not enough for him anymore. He got bored. So what does he do? Marches down to Wal-Mart and asks his old supervisor if she would hire him back. Her answer? After a chuckle and a shake of her head, "Why certainly, Mr. Hubert!"

So he's back at work. He didn't even last a year.

Now I don't know about you, but once I've retired, I'm done. I already have things I want to do. I want to learn to draw. I want to read my heart out. I want to craft and decorate my house and take classes in writing, in fashion, in everything I've always wanted to try but was afraid to pursue with the fear that I wouldn't be talented enough to support myself. I want to travel. I want to see every play that comes to my local theatre. I want to keep up with Broadway more than I do now, because I would have the time to do so. I've already got my retirement planned, and I'm not even out of college with my degree to work!

But that's the difference among his generation and mine: while we might have the same work ethic, our priorities are totally different.

He belongs to the "Traditional Generation", the "Veteran Generation" for lack of a better title. These members were born between 1925-1945, and pride themselves on being loyal to their organization, responding to direct leadership, and respecting authority. In my granddad's words, "You are given an order, and you do it." They always showed up early for their shift, dressed in formal attire for work (my granddad wears collared shirts and slacks to greet at Wal-Mart), they worked mostly in an office or factory setting, and are motivated by their self-pride. They don't just work to make money or to make a difference, they work hard so their employers will speak highly of them. They choose to represent their company the absolute best they can with everything they do. And with regards to technology, they don't even see the point. Not only do they prefer personal contact, but they email only if they have to, still do their research in an actual library with actual books, and hardly use the phone at all. This hard working, conservative, anti-risk generation is quite possibly the most stubborn and dedicated of all, as we see in my 87 year old Granddad who tried retirement and decided it didn't suit him.

I, on the other hand, belong to "Generation Y," often known as the "Millennial" generation due to our range of births: 1981-2000. I was born in 1995, not far from the turn of the century. We grew up in an age of diversity, with tech-savvy, enthusiastic teachers, raised by optimistic parents who often told us, "You can do anything you set your mind to." Young workers my age pride themselves on confidence, sociability, diversity, spirit, multi-tasking, and passion. We possess a level of "street smarts" in education and technology that the traditional generation never imagined the world would need. We like flexibility in our work: in tasks, in hours, and in pay. We are always looking for weird, extra jobs to make money that we can complete on our own time like blogging, selling old clothes, sewing, etc. The other day our apartment complex ran a special: if you renewed your lease for the next year on a certain day, they gave you a $300 check! Needless to say, we are living here again next year.

I love taking online classes because I can complete them on my own time. I don't have to actually show up at a classroom at a designated time. I love babysitting and writing and sewing for extra money because I can accept the jobs when I need the money and decline them when I don't have the time. And people in our generation don't see that as being unreliable. I've never once had a mother not call me to babysit again because I turned down a night due to previously made plans. They also agree that grades, studying, athletic practices, and previously made commitments are just as important as work, a line of thinking that would've never been accepted in the traditional generation.

We also wear whatever we want. My mom is a member of the Baby Boomer generation, and she wore slacks and nice shirts to high school. If anyone did that when I was in high school, they would've been the laughing stock of their class. In my high school, you were lucky if you even saw someone in a cute shirt and jeans. Most of the time, people wore sweatpants and hoodies.

Some of us might work in an office, or in my case, a classroom. But many people work from home through technology, or start their own businesses to ensure flexible schedules. Since we belong to a generation where often both parents work, the need to possess flexible jobs to be with children is a necessity. In the traditional generation, you either worked steadily or you didn't work at all, and while they were driven by self-pride, my generation is driven by change. We aren't just working to work or working to make money. We are working to make a difference, to be the best, to support ourselves in the life that we dream for ourselves. The days of women marrying rich to attain a certain standard are over. We now work to attain it ourselves, because what's the use in waiting on some man anyway? We require personal relationships with our co-workers and require constant feedback from our bosses to make sure we are being the best we can be. We create documents, use databases for research, email, text 24/7, and are always on the lookout for the next technological resource to use in our profession. I can't tell you how much of a better teacher I've become by stealing ideas from Teachers Pay Teachers and Pinterest, and business and medical professions are no different.

My generation has several jobs at the same time in hopes to build parallel careers. I am seeking to teach, blog, design lesson plans, and sew. I currently work at a daycare, at a high school coaching color guard, and babysitting. While the traditional generation looked for ways to enhance the effectiveness of one company, their company, the millennial generation is looking for a way to expand everything: their company, their life, their career, their salary, and their social network. We are always looking for the next challenge and seeking to conquer it. We want to be the hero of our field, the one you call for help, the one you always take your questions to. But most of all, we want the world in our hands, and we want it now. 

There are problems with both generations. For one, my Granddad is too stubborn to quit. But other than that, he placed such a high priority on work all his life, that he couldn't find enough hobbies to sustain his life when he finally quit. That's certainly no concern in my generation. The problem with my generation is that we have too many hobbies to truly flourish in our careers.

When asking each generation what their expectation of career development is, you're likely to get very different responses. Traditionalists are content: "I'm just happy to have a job." Baby Boomers (1946-1964) like reward: "I'd like my dedication to my company to be recognized." Generation X (1965-1980) gets impatient when things aren't moving quickly: "When am I going to get my raise? I've been working so hard!" but the millennial generation is entitled: "What on Earth do you mean you aren't promoting me? I'm so clearly the best one here!"

This is seen every day in young classrooms. Kids these days have "ADD" and "ADHD," disorders that were not only laughed at, but not even around in previous generations. These short attention spans are due to modern fiery passion, technology centered lessons, and the belief that we have to have information now. They require personal, customized approaches to learning because if they get bored, they'll find something else to do.

There is definite charm to our new generation of workers. We applaud their ability to complete tasks quickly and efficiently. We call them in when we want the next big idea because we know they've probably already thought of it. We live in a day and age where everyone is an innovator every time they have a new idea, and because of this, everyone thinks they are the best. So our respect for authority has gone out the window. Our patience is never good because it's rarely tested. We have plenty of hard-nosed, headstrong, confident and effective individuals. We need more respect. We need more patience. We need more people who are willing to roll up their sleeves and get dirty. We don't like to work with people who didn't have to climb their way to the top because they act like they're the best thing to happen to the world since Jesus himself came to save it. So while it's good to teach kids that "they can do anything," we also need to teach them that it might require a little work.

"Nothing worthwhile is ever easy." -Nicholas Sparks

And whether you like his books or not, this quote applies to everything.

I hated traditional Disney princesses growing up because they didn't do a single thing for themselves. I admired princesses like Jasmine, Ariel, and Belle. They did stand up for themselves and they did get what they dreamed of on their own. Jasmine snuck out without the help of a prince. Ariel was stupid to give up her voice, but she got to land on her own. Belle's heart and sacrifice was what gave her the adventure she'd been dreaming of, not the beast. But no one can deny that these princesses didn't have to work very hard. 

Today, little girls are being raised on princesses like Rapunzel, a teenager who escaped on an adventure and used her knowledge of experience to break free of her captivity. Girls are dressing up like Tiana for Halloween, a young Louisiana woman who dreamed of owning her own restaurant and took the time to climb her way to the top. If these princesses were real, I'd love to work for them. They know what it's like to rough it, which heightens our respect for them. We're all tired of entitled people.

I know there are elements of myself that I would want my children to have, but I also know there are elements of my Wal-Mart greeting Granddad that I would want them to have, too. So with our next generation, let's teach them to be a little less like us and a little more like their grandparents. Because there's a little of every generation inside all of us, and we've neglected our traditional work-ethic long enough.

Why Giving Your Students Control Of Their Learning Can Actually Work

I often hesitate to call teaching a "profession," because in actuality it is so much more than that. It is making a difference, it's molding the future. It's not just merely a "profession," but is instead creating all other professions. And that's a lot of responsibility. But we've heard all those clichés before, so we work harder.

The reality of teaching is that we are tired, we are stressed, and we work harder than we ever thought we would. We spend extra hours planning for the next day's lessons off the clock. We put all our energy into class each day and worry about our students all night. We cry for the students we are unable to help outside of school, and praise God that not all of them need the extra protection. We think about them all the time: about what we can do better to get them motivated, focused, and driven to success. Sometimes we have a plan. Sometimes we just don't know what else to do. And those days are the hardest. The days you feel completely defeated, and you genuinely wonder what ever qualified you to be a teacher anyway.

Those days are the hardest because you genuinely feel like giving up, and you are in one of the only professions that would hurt everyone else around you more than yourself if you decided to quit. Because when you're a teacher, your students need you.

I'd reached that point recently coaching a high school color guard. I even blogged about it a few nights ago; about that moment when you've hit your breaking point, when you wonder what more you can even do because you're completely out of ideas. I'd had some girls so unmotivated they hadn't passed memory tests and were unable to perform at competitions. I had some girls who were ineligible due to grades, and bound the law to not perform until their grades had risen above a certain point. I had some girls who refused to practice, who refused to count, who refused to set their bossy attitude and smart-aleck replies aside to take instruction and develop as a performer. And if you know anything about color guard, these things are crucial.

Because it's a team sport.

Every time one person is not practicing and performing to their fullest potential, the team as a whole suffers tremendously. And in addition to these girls who refused to do the required criteria, there were also girls who always did what they were told. They always counted, they always practiced, they always kept their grades and always passed their memory tests. They never mouthed off, they always followed directions, and they were always doing what they were instructed to do. I sympathize for these girls because when I was in guard, I was that girl. I was the one that was always overly-motivated and held back by the unmotivated. I was always screaming counts and taking instruction and practicing when I didn't have something down. And I hated watching videos of our performances knowing that other members were not doing the same.

Now, as an instructor, I didn't know what else to do. We'd done push ups. We'd run laps. I had promised rewards of food in exchange for good performances (I know that always worked for me). We'd had gentle pep talks and frustrating pow-wows. Whether they responded to kind encouragement or harsh instruction, I was determined to get them motivated somehow, but nothing seemed to work.

So today, I took a chance.

I cleared it with the school board and put all my girls in the show for competition day. Everyone who was eligible, ineligible, counting, not counting, sassy, or kind, whether they had been practicing or not, warmed up together today. And don't think this is a miraculous story where they whipped it all together instantly. If I'm being truthful, the beginning of warm up was awful. I legitimately thought I'd lost my mind. To make that decision, I must've totally gone mad! It was as if no one had touched their flag all season! People were seemingly just doing whatever they wanted, not using technique, not counting, and not even remembering what came next.

So I took a breath, said another prayer, and pulled them all together for a pow-wow. Everyone was bright eyed like they'd just won the whole competition. Didn't they know how awful it was when they didn't focus or pay attention to one another? Apparently not. So I asked, "Alright girls, what do you need?"

I don't think they thought I was serious. They all just stared at me. So I continued: "Do you need more information? Do you need me to clarify some counts? Do you need me to change a part of the work you are unable to do? What do you need?" They still didn't answer, so I said, "Don't you want to be good?"

That question got a resounding "YES!"

And when I asked again, "Okay. Well there's only so much I can do. I can give counts and run rehearsals, but the moment you step onto the field, it's out of my control. It's up to you. So before we go out there, what do you need from me?"

They erupted into questions. We clarified counts, adjusted work, ran segments till their arms were sore, and suddenly, it began coming together. And that's when it hit me: they always wanted to be good. Like every other kid learning their ABC's or Calculus II, they wanted to impress. They'd invested too much time to give up, and they weren't ready to. But they had reached their breaking point, too. My frustration had made them feel so defeated, they had given up on themselves.

Just to clarify, I had never once verbally expressed my frustration with them, and if I do say so myself, I'm a fairly decent actress. It was not obvious at rehearsals that I was losing hope, but students are perceptive to these things, just as children are with parents. They don't realize they're feeding off your emotions, but they are.

This warm-up was different, and not just because I had all my girls together, ready to perform, and motivated to do well. It was different because I had given them a chance they deserved, a chance that I had denied them of previously, to prove themselves to me and to themselves. Not only were they showing me they were capable of fulfilling the potential I saw at summer camp, they were showing themselves that they could, in fact, do everything they told themselves they couldn't.

We didn't win the competition. We didn't win best color guard. But that's okay, because in 20 years, those girls won't remember what place they scored at their competitions. But I can guarantee they'll remember the day they took the field in competition and had their best run of the season as a full color guard. There were girls who hadn't marched all season because they didn't have any idea what was going on. There were girls who had missed every sectional and rehearsal and couldn't figure out why they were failing band. There were girls who had been denied performing due to grades and attendance in other classes. There were a lot of outside factors that had contributed to the frustration I'd had with the season so far, as there always are for teachers every year: a season of mountain peaks and a season of the deepest valleys.

We were in a pretty deep valley. But today, I prayed a little harder, and gave my girls a chance. A chance they had deserved all along. Because they'd given up on themselves before we'd really even started, and needed to know that I believed in them enough to keep trying anyway. Once they proved themselves out there today, I realized it wasn't that they didn't care. It wasn't that they were lazy. It wasn't even that they didn't have the information they needed to take the field.

They didn't have the confidence.

Teachers are paid to teach students. That's our "profession." But we all know we're here for the outcome rather than the income. We want to see our students excel. We don't sleep at night knowing our students have so much potential and we aren't helping them reach it, but we can't help them reach it if we don't give them a chance. Sometimes it takes quiet encouragement. Sometimes it takes extreme discipline. But when you've tried all you know to try, try giving them a chance. Put the reins in their hands, because there's only so much you can do. Sometimes you have to take a step back and let them prove to themselves that they are smart enough, and talented enough, and strong enough to accomplish what they thought they never could. Because once they prove it to themselves, they don't want to stop working.

My girls are more motivated now than they ever have been before. I can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store for us. I was really starting to think we had peaked, because as far as what I was in control of, we had peaked. But as far as what they were in control of? We are far from peaking. My girls have so much hidden potential that was unlocked tonight. And whether you believe it or not (because for a good while, I know I sure didn't), your students have that potential, too.